A c-section? Are you serious? This can't be happening..

When I found out I was having a c-section I was so flippin' scared I thought "wth what if I die, what if Josh had to pick me or the baby?" Ok too many lifetime movies one would say if they know say well.... Seriously can't that happen??? I had to have a c-section because I had marginal placenta previa.. I won't go into detail now, but for those who are close to me or for those who let me ramble on, you already know the whole story.

I can say that it was an ok, ok better than ok expereince. I can say it did freak me out walking into the hospital saying "hi, i'm denise, i'm here to have my baby girl!" Ok maybe not in those words but I did walk in thinking ok what do I say? Hi i'm here to deliver, no that may mean I am in labor, so I think I said, Hi, i'm here to have a c-section. Gay I know but when in that situation your brain does not work properly...

I remember the nurse telling me I had to walk down the hallway to another room to "deliver". I was like um my butts sticking out (I was naked underneath) and what if someone is behind me??? I also remember walking into the surgery room seeing like 3 other nurses dressed up like Izzie, Meredith and Cristine (from Greys).. I was thinking out where is Dr. McSteamy?? It was so surreal I can't even explain it...

I won't go into detail about the surgery cuz obviously thats just gross and not the right time or place.. WHat I can remember is Josh walking in looking like a dr. (hotter than McSteamy I may add) and me saying "keep talking, keep talking".. Next thing ya know, out baby Addison was here and I looked to my left and saw how she looked EXACTLY like her daddy... WOW......I AM A MOMMY....